So, I want to tell all my friends that I absolutely love them. I have been kind of in a funk lately, and all of that ended when I was given the opportunity to get out of my house and hang out with some fantastically fun people over the New Year Holiday. I had SOOOO much fun.
Today, as I was thinking about things I wanted to change this year, my resolutions, if you will, I came upon an epiphany.
I don't want to change. I don't want to be anyone better or richer or thinner or smarter. I want to be me. I am loved for who I am by the people that matter and those who don't matter....well, I don't honestly give a shit about their opinions of me. See, that's the thing. I am living MY life, they are living THEIR lives.
I am not thin but that is because we are lucky enough to have food on our tables. Sure, I'd like to lose weight and be thinner, but that's not my priority at this time. I have enough food in my house to keep my children fed. That matters.
I am not rich. I will probably never be rich. It is taking me a long time to get my little writing business off the ground, but that's ok, because I am doing what I love. I never knew I wanted to be a writer until I sat down and did it. Now I don't see myself really doing anything else. I won't get rich this way, I am not Nora Roberts or Stephen King. I am me. I make enough money to help pay our bills and when we get to the point where we have paid off all our debts, we will be fine. It's a long road, but we are walking it and I know we will reach our destination in the end.
Smarter? Ok, really I don't think I could be any smarter. I'm pretty fucking smart. However, I can continue to learn, and I will. My learning will turn from book stuff to observational things. I want to learn how other people react to things. I want to know how to comfort people who suffer a great loss. I want to be available to stand up and change the human condition for someone who has even less than I do. I don't need a degree to accomplish these things, I don't need to spend thousands of dollars for a piece of paper from a school stating that I am "good enough" for a certain job. I will never stop learning, but I will never be "smarter".
As far as being better goes, there really isn't much I can do to be better. Again, I can only be me. I make it a point to treat people the way I want to be treated, with compassion, caring, loyalty, and affection. I try to never look down on others, and unless given a reason to do otherwise, will always strive to see the best in people.
So many of you out there are using New Years to change your lives. New Year, New Me. What about next year. Are you going to reinvent yourself yet again? You are not Madonna. Are you going to reinstate some changes you gave up on 3 months into 2016, only to probably "fail" again?
Do me a favor. Take a step back, close your eyes, take a deep breath. Now imagine a better you. Imagine the dream you. What are you doing? Where are you? I'm willing to bet you look pretty much the same and you aren't in a Ferrari. I'm also willing to bet that where ever you are, you have a huge smile on your face. The new you doesn't live in a perfectly clean and organized house. He isn't muscular and toned. She isn't going to work in a power suit daily.
The new you is in your head. She is happy, he is content. They have fun and realize that even though the year is new, they are not. They can only do what they can. Sometimes you much give up on some things in order to make others a possibility. Take a chance. Do something you never thought you would do in a million years. Quit that job you hate. Hug your father. Read your children bedtime stories. The only new you have to contend with this year is your new outlook on life and your love of living. Don't let your quest for your dream life be the thing that makes you miserable. DO NOT DO IT. YOU ARE ENOUGH!
The road is a long one, and the journey may seem never-ending, so why not make the most out of the trip?
Showing posts with label New Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Year. Show all posts
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Sunday, December 29, 2013
New Year, New Skills
I have already mentioned this on Facebook, but I think that while I fulfill my resolution this year, I will track it here on my blog. So, as it now stands, I have resolved to teach myself one new thing a month for the entire year. That is at least 12 new skills I mean to pick up this year. I already have a boat load of skills, but some could use a brush up and some are things that I have just always wanted to do but never put in the time to make it happen. This year, each month, I will focus on a new skill and spend at least 1-3 hours each day working on it. I am still taking suggestions for skills, but I have some that I definitely want to work on and fully intend to make this things work. Here is my list so far.
January-- ASL. I KNOW one can not learn and entire language in a month, believe me, of all people I know this. However, I fully intend to learn enough to be guide book conversational by the end of January. I picked this skill for the first month because, given the resources available to me (between youtube and the library) it is a relatively free skill to tackle so that appeals to me as the first of the year is always a bit tight. I also hope to develop the habit of "talking with my hands" or making gestures as I speak, which will aid in the continued learning of the language year round
February-- I think I want to dedicate February to baking. I am terrible in the kitchen, but it would be nice to learn how to make at least one signature baked good. Maybe a certain type of cookie or at least a decent cake. I chose February for this because, frankly, its the shortest month and I really do not need THAT many baked goods. I do not believe that I will be baking one thing a day but maybe 2-3 times a week I will try a new recipe.
March-- Meatless March (this one is dependent on if I can talk my husband into the challenge). Basically, I want to learn to cook without meat products. This serves two purposes; 1. after a month of baked goods, I'm gonna need to back off the fat foods and take a healthier break and 2. I really do want to learn how to make delicious foods with no meat simply because it would be an alternative to the same ol' things we always have.
April-- (undecided)
May--(Still undecided)
June-- In June (or possibly May depending on how the weather works out this year) I am going to try my hand at gardening again. Maybe by this time I will have my greenhouse redesigned and in working order, in which case I intend to try my green thumb on vegetables (another reason to learn to make meatless dishes). In the case of not having my greenhouse up and running, I want to build a tiered herb garden. The challenge here is to build something that I will be able to sustain for some time (in fairness, usually all my plants die before a month is up)
July-- (undecided)
August-- (still got nothing)
September--Sing on September. During the month of my birth I plan on completing a goal I have had for a very long time. I WILL learn (master) at least one song (using chords) on my guitar. If I have to play until my fingers bleed, I will learn one. This one I placed at the end of the year so I can take a bit of time to try to teach myself how to read music.
October--Ollie October. Call me crazy but I have always wanted to learn how to Ollie on a skateboard. It seems like a nothing task for some, but I have never been able to accomplish it. I don't care about crazy grinds and flips, I just want to get the board in the air. (my husband says I should make sure our insurance covers stuff like this.....dude has no faith, I swear)
November--Nail art November. I am kind of obsessed with nail art. I want to learn how to paint my nails with little mess and master a few really cool designs or styles. I placed this one so far down in the year because a)I need time to buy a few (lot) nail colors (since I can't seem to find the ones I previously had) and b) I will probably need to let them grow back out after I cut them short to work on my guitar playing. Come to think of it, I may have to move one or the other to a different slot....
December-- (undecided)
So there it is. I've got my year about half full. I fully intend to also work on some yoga this year as well as mastering a new stitch or learn to crochet this year, I'm just not sure where to fit them in my schedule. I'm still looking for things to fill up the other slots. Some one suggested a cool doodling thing (Zentangle). Also on the list are calligraphy, belly dance and meditation. I may work these ones in. I think I will work in a drawing one at least, but I am still up in the air on a lot of things.
Stay tuned to see what happens
January-- ASL. I KNOW one can not learn and entire language in a month, believe me, of all people I know this. However, I fully intend to learn enough to be guide book conversational by the end of January. I picked this skill for the first month because, given the resources available to me (between youtube and the library) it is a relatively free skill to tackle so that appeals to me as the first of the year is always a bit tight. I also hope to develop the habit of "talking with my hands" or making gestures as I speak, which will aid in the continued learning of the language year round
February-- I think I want to dedicate February to baking. I am terrible in the kitchen, but it would be nice to learn how to make at least one signature baked good. Maybe a certain type of cookie or at least a decent cake. I chose February for this because, frankly, its the shortest month and I really do not need THAT many baked goods. I do not believe that I will be baking one thing a day but maybe 2-3 times a week I will try a new recipe.
March-- Meatless March (this one is dependent on if I can talk my husband into the challenge). Basically, I want to learn to cook without meat products. This serves two purposes; 1. after a month of baked goods, I'm gonna need to back off the fat foods and take a healthier break and 2. I really do want to learn how to make delicious foods with no meat simply because it would be an alternative to the same ol' things we always have.
April-- (undecided)
May--(Still undecided)
June-- In June (or possibly May depending on how the weather works out this year) I am going to try my hand at gardening again. Maybe by this time I will have my greenhouse redesigned and in working order, in which case I intend to try my green thumb on vegetables (another reason to learn to make meatless dishes). In the case of not having my greenhouse up and running, I want to build a tiered herb garden. The challenge here is to build something that I will be able to sustain for some time (in fairness, usually all my plants die before a month is up)
July-- (undecided)
August-- (still got nothing)
September--Sing on September. During the month of my birth I plan on completing a goal I have had for a very long time. I WILL learn (master) at least one song (using chords) on my guitar. If I have to play until my fingers bleed, I will learn one. This one I placed at the end of the year so I can take a bit of time to try to teach myself how to read music.
October--Ollie October. Call me crazy but I have always wanted to learn how to Ollie on a skateboard. It seems like a nothing task for some, but I have never been able to accomplish it. I don't care about crazy grinds and flips, I just want to get the board in the air. (my husband says I should make sure our insurance covers stuff like this.....dude has no faith, I swear)
November--Nail art November. I am kind of obsessed with nail art. I want to learn how to paint my nails with little mess and master a few really cool designs or styles. I placed this one so far down in the year because a)I need time to buy a few (lot) nail colors (since I can't seem to find the ones I previously had) and b) I will probably need to let them grow back out after I cut them short to work on my guitar playing. Come to think of it, I may have to move one or the other to a different slot....
December-- (undecided)
So there it is. I've got my year about half full. I fully intend to also work on some yoga this year as well as mastering a new stitch or learn to crochet this year, I'm just not sure where to fit them in my schedule. I'm still looking for things to fill up the other slots. Some one suggested a cool doodling thing (Zentangle). Also on the list are calligraphy, belly dance and meditation. I may work these ones in. I think I will work in a drawing one at least, but I am still up in the air on a lot of things.
Stay tuned to see what happens
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)