Busy is the Land of Chaos

Whoo,

I feel like I've gone missing for some time and for the few actual followers I have, I am sorry. I get so caught up in all the four million things that I have time for now that I tend to neglect the little things like spilling my guts and whining about my life in my blog post.

I joke, this is not one of those.

All in all things are looking pretty well. I do NOT have a steady income, but I feel more empowered by it somehow. I don't get paid for just showing up, I get paid for the work I actually do and that is a feeling I can't describe to anyone who puts in the hours. I think I found my problem with the workforce. It has been so clear to me all along, while I was getting paid the same amount for working my ass off that others were getting for being lazy as hell. How did I miss it for so long?

No matter, I love my job(s) now because none of them feel like work. I get paid to wash my face, share my imagination, help others bring their imaginations to life, make crafty little things for fun. I am soon going to get paid for reading books. WHO WOULDN'T LOVE THAT? Do I miss the steady hourly income?  Not really. I don't do much outside my house, never did. I don't tend to spend a lot of money, especially now that I don't have to fill up my gas tank every week or pay for daycare for my children.

I've been offered a chance to clear all the crazy out of my brain and get paid for it. What?!?!

But, I digress. So, what have I been doing lately?  Reading. Writing. Drawing. Creating. Finding myself in my art. Learning new skills. Enriching my life with knowledge. Spending time with my kids. Taking pictures. Teaching. Reaching out. All the things I never managed before.

Now do you see why I never have 5 minutes to sit down and bang out a blog post. I'll try to be better. I really do need to keep up my "professional" blog on the other site. I hope yall are looking forward to seeing more of me. I'm not stopping,

Day 2 reflections

Today I took some time to think about why I quit last time I tried weight loss.  I quit because, frankly it sucks.  It sucks to remember to log everything you eat. It sucks to push your body.  It sucks being out of breath or sore. To carry around a little notebook or drain your battery trying to input food and workout data into an app on your phone. Sweat.  Sweat sucks.  It sucks because, well, math.  I hate math, I'm no good at math and I severely dislike number problems.  Sadly that's what weight loss is, it's math.  Numbers in vs. Numbers out.  This many macros and micronutrients, if I eat this I have to run one more mile, this this and this will put me over for the day, but wait, this has too many carbs so I'll put this instead. 

I HATE it.

But I'm not going to let that stop me.

Some other issues I've discovered.   One is my job.  I love my job, it's awesome, but I don't move much.  I basically sit at a desk all day.  Plus I can have my phone inside to log (and I've already tried the notebook, I lost 3).  Lastly, I rarely take lunches at work.  I don't go out and spend money on food.  Why? Because my job feeds me.  Sure, it's prison food, but I find myself trying to see food more as fuel and less as a decadent thing.  I just shovel in what I'm given.  The worst part is that I have NO IDEA how to log it.  Not a clue.  I'm not even sure what's in it (sounds terrible doesn't it) But, it's free and I'm hungry so there you have it.

On another note, I found my favorite belt hidden in the back of my closet.  I can't even get it around me.  I have maybe an inch before I can snap it into the biggest possible position.  So, what does this mean?  This means I have a new goal.  A mini one, sure, but I will be wearing that belt by the end of this year.  I realize that does seem like a long time, and I will probably be wearing it much sooner than that, but that's where I'm at with it now. 

I was going to take measurements tonight but then my child started vomiting and, well, that kind of derailed my whole day.  Something about acidic high velocity spatter coming out of him has really put me off.  So I think I'm just gonna try to get him to rest and pick back up tomorrow.

Weight loss progress-- no change