My Next 30 Years

So, my birthday is coming up.  Saturday to be exact.  I will have reached the ripe old age of 31.  I, myself, can not believe I have managed to live this long, so I don't expect you too either.

Anyways, with the upcoming anniversary of my birth, I thought I would do a little reflecting.  I won't bore you with all 30 years of my life, but mostly with this last year, the 30th.  This my very well have been THE BEST year of my life.  Of course it's had it's ups and downs.  A lot can happen in a year, I don't expect all of it to be pure awesomeness. (Though of course, this is ME we are talking about, right)

I wish I could pinpoint what it is about this year that has made it so great.  There really isn't one giant thing, but a lot of little things.  I still don't have a whole lot of friends, but I'm strangely ok with that.  I am back in school and doing rather well, though finding time to study is crazy hard.   I have acutally gained 30 of the 80 pounds I lost back.  I am still, however, probably in the best shape I have ever been in.  I am breaking barriers and doing things I never thought I would be doing.   I have hobbies.  My kids are happy, my husband is happy.

I have found a few things I am good at.  Like REALLY good at and actually enjoy doing, which is huge.  No more sitting around moping in boredom.  I finally am able to do thinks I've wanted to do for awhile.  I am more confident and branching out into more unfamiliar territory, a new thing for me. 

The biggest improvement is crawling out of this black hole that grabs ahold of me now and then.  I can feel it creeping in and I am able to shut it out, tell it to fuck off, and go do something that makes me happy, which is new to me.  I haven't always had it good, some years have been downright bad.  I have made dumb mistakes and hurt people intentionally.  Truth is, that's past.  I have finally realized that I should live my life for me and mine and I am going to live it exactly how I want to live it.

I can not be any more excited to see what this next year brings.  I have a feeling I will only get better as time goes by.  Bring it on, world, I'm ready.