Tuesday, July 9, 2013

July 9 2013

With the exception of my 5 hour work day, I've accomplished exactly fuck all since Sunday.

I don't know why but i've got no motivation, no energy, no want to do anything. I'm not tired, I'm not even bored which is strange.

Maybe it's because the boys are gone, maybe it's because i'm poor as hell, maybe because it's hot as hell outside, maybe it's just because, for once,  I have nothing to do.

I have no homework, no work, no projects, no crafts, no chores.  Nothing to do. Nothing to accomplish.

I always think that when the boys are at grandmas house I will get so much accomplished,  but here I am. Doing nothing. Perhaps its because I have the time to do nothing. Its nice to have nothing expected of me.

I need to make a list of things to do when the kida get back. Things to keep us moving and entertained. Things to fill up what is left of their summer. 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Day 3 July 6

Today is starting off slowly. I figured since I have some downtime I will go ahead and put some daily goals up. Here are the things I intend to accomplish today

1. Stay within calories on food (not counting beer. Limit 4)
2. If I do drink, limit intake to 4. This way I can better adapt my calories for occasional good time intakes
3. Go for a bike ride now that my bike is fixed. Id like to try to ride to to see hiw long it will take. I may start riding to work daily
4. Take dogs for a walk. Its really hot out (sumer in texas generally is) but we all need the exercise

These are my main weight loss focused goals for today. Yes I slept until noon. That crazy nap yesterday left my sleep schedule still pretty jacked. Slowly working on that. Will update later with progress. 

Well I did the bike ride at least. Target is a lot farther away than I imagined.   On the good side, I gained back all the calories I had eaten to that point and that made room for the delicious dinner we had.

On my ride I kept thinking how I couldnt believe how hard it was. In fact I couldnt believe I had let myselt go so far back down the that path. It was embarrassing and depressing. 

Now I plan to work that much harder

Friday, July 5, 2013

Day 2

Day two. Other than the beer im having tonight (come on yall its Friday) I am still under calories.  With the beer ive gone a little over but come on, It IS friday

I didnt actually do anything today outside of working. I took an accidental super long nap today. But at one point I weighes in and I was sitting at the same weight even after all the fair like foods yesterday.

Of course we did do a lot of walking all over the place yesterday.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Challenging me

Today is the Fourth of July. The birthday of the nation. A day for celebrating freedom. So I chose today to start my challenge.  I am going to set myself free. On the surface it mayb look like just another weight loss journey but, as I learned last time I lost weight,  it is much more than that. It is quite literally setting myself free. Free from uncomfortable clothes. Free from embarassment about how I look. Freedom from the constraints of an overweight body on my limbs and lungs.

I am going to challenge myself for a whole year. It seems easier to me to have a "stop" date because last time I just got burnt out thinking about how it was a lifetime thing. So I am putting it here as a kind of accountability

I am going to try to post daily, not just stats but my feelings,  concerns, food and really anything else that occurs to me along the way. If you dont want to read it, dont. I do however hope that someone will take something away from it.

I was on a site and I made many frienda there but for some reason it never made me feel accountable to myself. It got to be more of a social site than a tool. I will continue to use site for tracking but will most likely avoid the boards and forums.

So here it is. Day 1

Today I weighed in at 250 exactly. When I first started a few years ago, I was 270. I eventually got down to 190 and was content. I felt good, thought I looked good and was happy. I think maybe a got a little complacent and then when I started gaining weight I just said fuck it.

This time im going to avoid that.  Im going to eat better.  Im going to try some easy exercises, and actually work out a plan instead of just winging it.

Of course the only thing ive eaten so far today was a whataburger meal and some gummy bears. Off to a rough start :/

Its ok. I got this.